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It was a brutal night in the ballroom on "Dancing with the Stars," as all of the dancers suffered from a shortened rehearsal week and it really showed in some of the performances. It was also an epic night for really bad hair.

The "Stars" performed the rumba and the paso doble, which boiled down to two things: Those who danced the paso looked fierce and those who danced the rumba had crappy music. One of the unspoken killers of a dance performance can be poor music selection (which the dancers do not choose but are assigned). The seventies stylings of some of the songs used for the rumba were almost as tragic as the seventies.

Here’s how it played out:

The Blonde and the Bombshell: Derek Hough and Brooke Burke nailed it again with a stunning paso doble that didn’t suffer from questionable costumes, unflattering hairdos or uninspired music like some of the other contestants. The one thing head judge Len Goodman didn't like was the cape action, but dude, that was the best part!
Brooke and Derek: 24

Welcome to The Matrix: Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson rocked their high-flying Matrix-style routine with a "dark, menacing" paso doble and survived a minor pleather mishap at the end to tie Brooke and Derek for first place. Warren looks a little funny when he does some of the arm movements but he’s a good spinner. Also: Warren Sapp wears eye liner.
Warren and Kym: 24

Leave the Singing to Toni: Sensuality and strong chemistry fueled Toni Braxton and Alec Mazzo’s romantic rumba, earning them raves. Unlike Alec’s “singing.” Except for Carrie Ann, aka “Lift Police,” who pointed out that Toni came off the ground twice. I’ll never understand why that’s bad.
Toni and Alec: 23

Soap Dish: Those of you hoping Susan Lucci’s daytime connection would lead to a Cameron Mathison cameo got their wish. (Or was that just me?) Susan’s hunky fellow soaper appeared on Season 5, so he gave her some tips on how to survive the hectic bi-coastal schedule. Sadly he had no advice on how to avoid ridiculous costumes; thus Susan turned up in a pink Hobbit Fairy Princess ensemble. Oh, and she danced a graceful rumba.  
Susan and Tony: 21

The Punisher: I don’t know what’s more surprising: Maks almost making tough girl Misty May-Treanor cry or him apologizing three times for it. But their grueling rehearsal paid off with a wicked paso doble that Misty attacked with her usual intensity. P.S. Attention Wardrobe: Please keep Maks shirtless and in black leather for the rest of the season. Thanks!
Misty and Maks: 21

The Youngins': Though Cody was told he needed more control, more polish and looser hips, it’s easy to see that Cody Linley and Julianne Hough continue to charm the judges.
Cody and Julianne: 21

The Defiant Ones: Lance “Kissed a Girl” but did he like it? Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer locked lips at the end of another non-traditional but well-executed routine--and blew it with the judges, again. Their “modern twist” barely resembled a paso doble...and I don’t think I’ve ever seen Len raise his voice like he did when told Lacey he’s onto her game. Lacey’s rebellion against the ballroom dance "rules" is bringing Lance down. Is she so overconfident in their abilities she thinks they can do whatever they want? Or could the former "So You Think You Can Dance" star not actually know what makes up a proper paso doble?
Lance and Lacey: 20

Not Up to Speed: “Mercy, Mercy Me.” Maurice Green and Cheryl Burke rhumba’d to an unfortunate cover of the Marvin Gaye classic, but Len summed up the performance with, “You talk the talk but don’t dance the dance.” This Olympian needs to step it up or he can kiss “winner winner chicken dinner” goodbye.
Maurice and Cheryl: 19

Ice, Ice Baby: Kim Kardashian continues to fail to meet the sex-pectations of the judges and viewers. Len called her “colder than Siberia.” Bruno called her “Pussycat Dead instead of a Pussycat Doll.” For the first time, I felt a little bad for Kim K. “I’m doing the best I can,” she said when faced with the harshest words of the entire night. She put on a brave face (or is that the botox?) but I’m thinking there might be some crying later.
Kim and Mark: 17

Flaming Out?: After a cute segment in which chef Rocco DiSpirito cooked for Karina Smirnoff (as if she eats), there were some analogies to risotto and the rumba that definitely did not translate to the dance floor, making last week’s praised mambo a very distant memory. I was worried immediately when I saw Rocco on stage with a tray and a chef’s apron, since Len hates gimmicks. Karina in her disco ‘do and lavender nightie didn’t help. Bruno said the Italian Stallion ran out of juice and Len said the recipe wasn’t tasty. Assuming Rocco survives the vote (and I hope he does), I hereby ban all cheesy cooking cliches from Rocco’s critiques.    
Rocco and Karina: 16

Blondes Have More Fun: After an outrageous showing in Week 1, Cloris Leachman announced she was taking her dancing more seriously now, so someone dressed her in some Spanish garb and a brunette wig. Bruno made the spot-on comparison to Gloria Swanson in "Sunset Blvd." Crazy Cloris wasn’t in the ballroom on this night but Crazy Carrie Ann was: She refused to comment on Cloris and Corky’s performance to "keep things happy," then criticized Cloris for playing it straight out on the dance floor. Don’t encourage her, Carrie Ann!  
Cloris and Corky: 15

There’s a lot to look forward to on Tuesday’s results show: Jessica Simpson has another chance to mess up performing live (it runs in the family); there’s a Pussycat Dolls performance; and, of course, the next elimination!

So, who’s going home? Kim and Rocco are in as much jeopardy as Cloris. Kim’s a bore; Cloris is a wild card; and Rocco is inconsistent. Vote responsibly this time, America!

Watch highlights of the performance show here:


Click here to comment: Who should be out? Who will be out? Who would you be furious about if they were out?


Message Edited by Tracy_Phillips on 09-30-2008 08:08 PM