Outbursts a Sign of the Times?

Badeau P.O.V.

By Chelsea-Badeau
Wed, 16 Sep 2009 21:12:35 GMT

The recent inappropriate outbursts by Joe Wilson, Serena Williams, and Kanye West are just a reflection of the type of behavior that is becoming more prevalent and even more acceptable in America. Let’s face it, the term “rude Americans” didn’t come out of thin air.

Yes, these disgraceful acts have all been publicly shunned and each offender has issued an apology. But there is also a more quiet sense of acceptance if not appreciation for this type of behavior. For example, after Joe Wilson yelled out “You Lie” during President Obama’s health care speech to the nation, it has been reported that his campaign raised a significant amount of money. In addition, some conservatives have turned him into a hero on their blogs and YouTube videos.

After West took the microphone from a stunned Taylor Swift to announce that Beyonce should have won the award since she had “one of the best videos of all time,” fans took to social networking sites to defend the rapper. Fans posted tweets and status updates that rationalized West’s behavior by saying that he just did what everyone else wanted to do, or he only did it because Beyonce deserved the award. But the point these people are missing is the fact that whether or not Swift deserved to win the award, West’s reaction was ill-timed and inappropriate. He could have voiced his opinion in a post-award show interview or on his blog.

There is also this idea that “being real” (West’s excuse for his outburst, for example) is an honorable way to live and people should admire those people who “tell it like it is.” But there is a difference between being real and being rude, and unfortunately that line is being blurred more and more every day. Yes, honesty is always a good thing, but being mean, arrogant, or hurtful in the name of “being real” is not honorable.

Is civility a thing of the past? Outside of the public displays of rudeness that we have all seen in the media recently, take a look at your own life and count up the displays of rude behavior you encounter in a single day.

Every day I catch the train to work and every day I encounter rude people. There are the people who push to the front of the line and cut others off to get first dibs on a seat. Then there are the people who don’t even give the passengers exiting the train a chance to do so before rushing on. Then there are the people who put their bags on the seat next to them even though they know it’s a crowded train. Then there are the people who see a pregnant woman or an elderly person standing and look the other way. Then there are the people who talk loudly on their cell phones, smack gum, eat food, and leave trash. I could go on and on and all of this can occur just within a 30-minute train ride.

So who’s to blame? Parents who let their kids talk back and are too busy to teach them manners? Is it the media that replays and reinforces acts of disrespect on a regular basis? Or is it the fact that our hi-tech society has become so self-obsessed that we have forgotten that other people actually have feelings too? Thankfully, there are still many nice, well-mannered people in America, but this uptick in rude behavior is disturbing.

What do you think? Who or what is to blame for the rise of rudeness?

Message Edited by Chelsea-Badeau on 09-16-2009 05:14 PM

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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There is your problem...we look to blame so that we may ultimately demean. Who is to blame for rudeness? Those that look to blame. Each of us needs to look within and look to spread a more positive message, you know, those random acts of kindness. We can't resurrect the likes of John Lennon, but we can resurect his ideas/ideals within ourselves. All you need is love...

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 22:49:10 GMT | No_Replay_in_MLB

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No Replay:
How on earth did you come up with that logic? Weird.

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:04:48 GMT | vintagebikerdude

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That is stupid. What needs to happen is people need to be held absolutely accountable for their public behavior, and to be made to realize if they were treated in the same manner, they would be enraged. Love has NOTHING to do with it. Manners and ethics ideally should be taught at home, but as it has been proven, the chance of that are slim, zip to none. When I went to school, I was in grades one through three in classes that were no less than sixty students, and there were NO discipline problems because we were taught both decorum and respect. Oh yeah--these were Chicago Public Schools, during the horror days of Superintendent Benjamin Willis.
It is not about fault or blame--it is about accountability and responsibility. We need an absolute zero tolerance policy for demeaning behavior. Kanye West should have had the sound turned off on the microphone and removed from the stage. Joe Wilson should learn something about honoring the office of the President of The United States. People living on pink clouds should learn that tolerance and gentle guidance is the exact reason people act like fools. Positive message? Respect yourself, respect others, or face the consequences--loudly and publicly--and know shame. It is truly too bad that shame has disappeared as a quotient in this society. It's loss means we also have lost it's opposite--the ability to feel pride--in appearance, manners, decorum, and respect.

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:06:09 GMT | seabiscuit1959

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I would tend to agree with the first post here. We do indeed have to look within to place our blame. BUT, our environment does a lot to form who we are. Our family life as we grow into adulthood means more than anything. Where Kanye West is concerned, he is nothing more than a spoiled brat that has been allowed to get away with so much for so long, that he no longer feels that he can possibly do any wrong. Wilson is just an idiot, zealot. As for Serena, look back toward Kanye. It's another example of bad parenting and far too much allowable bad actions. People in the limelight seem to be more closely scrutinized primarily because they are just that. In the limelight, and they are known and seen by more. What makes that a bad thing is that those in this limelight also become role models. As role models, they need to be kept in check more. Now this next statement may draw a lot of fire, but I feel it is also important. If we want to start reversing this trend we need to start now with ourselves AND our children. STOP Coddling the kids! These days, parents are afraid to spank their kids because they will be viewed as bad parents or possibly be seen as horrible people. The simple fact is that it was those spankings that we older folks remember, and the groundings, that taught us discipline. These days kids get away with murder all because they can't be punished as we were. It's time to get back to basics. If your kid is acting like a spoiled brat, give them a good old fashioned spanking or an attention getting slap. You will see a pretty fast change in behavior. Trust in this. Sometimes the old ways are best...

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:12:14 GMT | netitmanager

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seabiscuit1959 - Couldn't have said it better!

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:14:53 GMT | deluwiel

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I agree with Seabiscuit for the most part, except for this statement: "Manners and ethics ideally should be taught at home, but as it has been proven, the chance of that are slim, zip to none" That's a pretty general and inaccurate statement. Also, I don't believe that spanking has anything to do with it. Experts have proven that spanking can lead to aggressive behavior in children. I raised my daughter without spanking to respect her elders and others. However, even children taught respect at home can grow up to be Ugly Americans. Once a person becomes an adult, you can no longer blame their parents for the choices he/she makes. So, yes. let's make people responsible. We are too tolerant. Let's turn off the mikes of the Kanye's and get out the hook. And what about the person who sees the no one will give up their seat for the elderly, disabled or pregnant. Do you stand back and watch, or do you point it out and stick up for the underdog. Even if we are not rude ourselves we can be way to complacent about how others are treated.

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:30:46 GMT | morgan54

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There are many reasons for the general decline in civility, but the biggest by far is poor parenting. It's self-evident that most parents do a TERRIBLE job rearing their kids. That's why most kids have absolutely NO manners, NO respect, and NO discipline. It's the Age of Permissiveness run amok.

Some say I'm selfish for not wanting kids. That's patently absurd. It's truly selfish to have kids and fail to bring them up properly.

Making matters even worse is the ridiculous notion of "having it all". Being a parent means giving up other things and focusing on parenting. It's a full-time, long-term commitment that very few are willing to make. My hat's off to the rare parents who actually do a good job. They are extremely few and far between. And it's getting even worse.

Message Edited by citizencain on 09-16-2009 07:50 PM

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:46:53 GMT | citizencain

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I think good points have been made. What I also see as possibly contributing to the problem is TV. Especially "Reality TV". Think about it, you can't turn around without seeing some perons on some reality TV show with the camera in their face talking trash about another contestant. The behavior is encourage by the producers, of course, but some people have trouble separating TV with REAL reality. I see the previews for Kim Kardashian and the chef on Hell's Kitchen and am just appalled. I am no namby-pamby either. I deal with criminals in my job on a daily basis and have seen quite a bit. But some people sit there all night watching these garbage TV shows and think this is how you act. They go out into the world with the attitude of "where's mine?", and "everyone else better just deal with me." Anyone who defends Kanye's behavior is just ignorant of how to behave. Kanye's problem is he feels everyone SHOULD hear what he has to say, and SHOULD hear it NOW. Really Kanye, we don't care.

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:55:08 GMT | kikoman

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The comparison between Joe Wilson and Kanye West is preposterous. There is no comparison between a grown man yelling at another man over a disagreement and a grown man grabbing something out the the hand of a young woman, which fits the legal definition of assault. (He actually injured her hand.) What Kanye did was far more than incivility. Comparing Joe Wilson to Serena Williams is fine, but lets call Kanye what he is -- a violent, hateful thug.

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 00:06:25 GMT | Robert_H

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LACK OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY! And our society stands back and watches. We have gone overboard. We have taken away the simple differances and joys while allowing hate, disrespect & disregard to fester. We have allowed our families, communities and country to fall apart. We are a 24hour society full of technology that expects what we want when we want it and we do not care who we stomp on or disrespect along the way.

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 01:02:14 GMT | firesag

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West just showed the world what a **bleep** he is

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 01:26:04 GMT | fsuwvu

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Chelsea: Its parents. period. These days, parents don't do much parenting and much of the time, teachers get blamed for kids behavior issues. Thats why I decided not to go into teaching. And society teaches kids that they are all winners no matter what. Then when the "sledgehammer" of real life hits them, they don't get a promotion, or something doesn't go their way, they can't handle it. Thats why high school senior classes have 10 valedictorians, and 15 salutatorians. Because if you just had one of each, parents would go ape**bleep**. And "no child left behind" is only making this situation worse. BTW - Kanye West is a no-talent punk.

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 01:35:19 GMT | fsuwvu

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There is your problem... people don't see themselves to clearly... they just want to pass off the blame. The more we take God out the worse this country becomes... we keep changing our standards... lower!

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 01:59:57 GMT | IgnorantCitizens

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I am one of those parents that has raised a honest, caring,respectful hard working member of society.It was tough and FULL TIME. I was there with love in one hand and discipline in the other.He thought I was the **bleep** of the world, I was constantly on his **bleep**. Teaching him the meaning of respect, for all things from not littering to greeting people ,thanking people, doing more than is expected of you not less than whats expected of him. I made hime live up to his potential. We are best fiends now.
America is lucky to have a man like him out there. I can take some credit but he has made himself a great person because he was taught, and why it is important.

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:04:06 GMT | cheapwine